I often ask the Lord, “Why me? Why now?” At a time when I claimed to hate God and rejected His existence, I wondered why I was chosen when others seemed to have more potential, ability, and resources. The answer I received was clear: “I equip the called, not call the equipped.”
Being in ministry isn’t easy; the more you carry, the greater your responsibility. When I realized the Lord wanted me to stay in my country, He enveloped me with His love in an unforgettable moment. Initially, I thought I had lost my chance to achieve something significant. My heart was set on traveling abroad to work and build a business to support my family, friends, and strangers. Yet, I kept reminding myself, “If it’s for Him, it’s okay.” Little did I know that the fulfillment I sought was right here in Lebanon.
After choosing to stay, God surrounded me with friends who are now core members of GoChurch Beirut. They dedicate their time to serving and planning wherever needed, and their presence has been an immense blessing. My pastors, Matt and Julie Hattabaugh, have played a pivotal role in my growth. The teaching and coaching I have received from them have transformed my life and shaped my future business plans. In just a few years, I have experienced growth that would normally take a decade to achieve. This was all possible because God and my pastors said “yes” to coming to Lebanon and believing in me when I couldn’t believe in myself.
Through this process, the value of relationships became clear. I recognized that God had nurtured leadership qualities in me from childhood—qualities that I had not seen in myself. I often compare relationships to oil and water. Just as oil can coexist with water but requires boundaries to prevent mixing, relationships should be loving and accountable, but boundaries are essential to create a safe space for growth. We must respect each other’s limits while fostering healthy, respectful connections.
What I’ve shared here is only a fraction of what my pastors and those around me have taught me since I chose to submit to God’s authority in their lives. By deciding to be teachable, I acknowledged that I still have much to learn. The Lord revealed my heart for this generation when I began attending youth services. Through multiple confirmations, He showed me that I was created for this specific time to lead the youth.
Leading youth has been difficult, but it has been a learning journey. I began to understand how young people think, and I realized that I was in this role because no one had been there to guide me at their age. God desires to raise this generation as leaders, as Paul reminds us in 1 Timothy 4:12-13 (NIV): “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young; instead, set an example for the believers in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity.” Engaging young people in leadership roles can be challenging, but it becomes a joy when they recognize that you nurture their gifts rather than merely use them. At that point, leadership becomes a blessing, not just a responsibility.
Developing Leaders
The Lord has called me to train and develop regional leaders. Since childhood, I have seen qualities in people that others might overlook. This insight helps me place individuals in environments where they can thrive. Everyone has the potential to contribute; it all depends on how we view them and where we position them. While teaching a task may be easy, developing someone’s character takes time and effort. Through our actions, God speaks to their hearts. Do we celebrate them? Do we honor their efforts? Do we encourage them? The way we approach people significantly impacts their growth.
At 23, I started my first Grow Group. As a young woman with limited biblical knowledge, it was an incredibly challenging experience. I am thankful to Pastor Matt and Julie, who stretched me while providing the protection I needed to grow into who I am today. Leading the group was initially difficult, but I realized that the Lord wanted me to grow and learn alongside the group. I wasn’t there to provide all the answers; I was there to journey with them. This shift changed everything. Over time, more people joined the group, including familiar faces from six years ago. It’s incredible to see how God works, bringing people into my life with whom I never imagined I would one day share the Gospel.
God has been guiding me, teaching me, healing my past wounds, and renewing my hope for the future. Each day stretches me, but it also reveals more of His hand, shaping me into the person He has called me to be.
I am forever grateful for Pastor Matt and Julie Hattabaugh. They have been instrumental in my journey, patiently guiding me and helping me see my potential. Their mentorship has been a true blessing in my walk with the Lord. What makes this journey even more remarkable is knowing that I’m not alone. The people God has placed around me, like Pastor Matt and Julie, are part of His plan for my growth. God uses others to speak into our lives, challenge us, and remind us of His grace when we fall short.
I know my journey with the Lord is far from over. There are still areas in my life where I need to grow, learn lessons, and overcome obstacles. But I am confident in His faithfulness. Just as He has been with me in the past, He will continue to shape, heal, and lead me into His perfect plan. I am excited for the future, knowing He will guide me every step of the way.
